Preparation For Flight

 

Moments That Matter

In the life of the hive, moments accumulate: the queen’s first flight, the worker’s last foraging trip, the splitting of a swarm. None happen in isolation. Each shapes the hive’s future.

Parenthood is marked by such moments, too. The first day of school. The first heartbreak. The first time they tell you, “I’ve got this.” They are milestones not just of growing up, but of letting go.

These are not signs you are losing your child. They are signs you have done your job well.

We have been seeing these little glimmers of growth and decision making from our oldest child. As he has made healthy choices to cease stressful endeavors, join different friend groups, and define his prirorities around work vs. summer fun.

While our youngest tries to follow in his older brothers footsteps, he is still younger and needing more of his parental unit guidance.

As a parent the way we parent has begun to shift, to offer guidance, less about telling them how to do things or what to do, more about asking questions like, "What do you think?" or "How do you think that decision will be recieved?" or "Have you considered....?"

What no one tells you is that your own emotional feelings as a parent will be challenges, will need to take pause and reflect and that it will be hard but wonderful all at the same time.

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Letting Go is Love in Action

Honey bees survive because they trust the process. They trust that life is meant to move forward, not hold still. They do not cling. They do not hover. They live fully in their roles, then make way for what comes next.

For parents, this may be the hardest lesson. To love a child is to hold them close and to let them go, again and again, in bigger and bigger ways. It is to believe in their ability to fly, even when you ache to keep them safe in the hive.

As we prepare for a final high school year beginning in a month, we are taking stock in each moment with our oldest. We are helping him to prepare for life with guidance, and are slowly letting him go and watching him fly into his own. As difficult as it is we will smile through the tears knowing that we are doing our job.

Teens and Honey Bees

 

Change is Inevitable — and Necessary

When a hive becomes too crowded, something remarkable happens: a swarm. The old queen leaves, taking a cluster of bees with her to build a new home. It looks chaotic. It feels like loss. But it is nature’s way of ensuring survival, progress, and the spread of life. My husband and I recently collected our first swarm! An answer to a FB post about bees and in 8 minutes we were up the Canyon collecting a thousand bees. Our youngest came and participated in collecting them. He is 13 a teenager finding his own path in life. He was such a help and it took longer than expected. But it also reminded me there is a connection between a swarm and children growing up; changing over time.

Children, too, swarm in their own way. First it’s learning to walk — leaving your hand behind. Later it’s asserting opinions, pushing against boundaries, and demanding their own space. Eventually, it’s driving away, moving out, building a life entirely separate from the one you carefully constructed around them.

This past year we have begun to see these types of changes with our children, requireing parenting shifts and the ability to communicate differently to support their different needs. Our youngest shifted schools and reduced anxiety, leaving behind bully's and situations that were unfathomably, moving towards rebuilding self confidence and setting boundaries and working on generating great frienships. Our oldest made decisions around working, sports and his own journey post high school setting into motion a series of things to help grow his adulthood.

These departures feel messy and disruptive. They are moments of loss. But they are also moments of purpose. Like bees leaving the hive, our children are meant to move beyond the space we’ve created for them. We have struggled to allow it and how to communicate and identify our own feelings of loss while, still supporting their journey. We are by no means perfect but are working towards having seriously independent kids

My Honey Bee Era

 

It is said that the Honey Bee is vital to life! 

They are the pollenators, without whom life as we know it would cease to be.

These are the things I think about when working the hive.

I pull each frame in a specific order, looking, listening and learning about the colony. 

Inspecting for various signs.  That the queen is alive and doing her job.

That the bees have enough food and are healthy,  and  making notes along the way.

As a steward of the bees, it isn't necessiarily about obtaining the sweet honey that will eventually come it is about survival, sustainablity and commitment to life (something I learned a lot about from my brother in law Bob #survivorbee.

The Honey Bee and the Human Heart: Lessons on Survival, Change, and Letting Go

Nature rarely hands us a metaphor as perfectly as the honey bee. Tiny, tireless, and woven into the fabric of life itself, honey bees are often admired for their industriousness. But beneath the hum of the hive lies something deeper: a story about survival, change, and the bittersweet art of letting go.

If you’ve ever raised a child — from the sleepless newborn days to the defiant teenage years — you’ll recognize yourself in the life of a honey bee. Their story is, in so many ways, our own.

For my husband and I having two now teenagers (13, & 17 almost 14 & 18) this most recent years has taught us many lessons that are comparable to the life of a honey bee. Maybe that is why I find myself sitting in front of the apiary just watching the flight patterns, the struggles of a removal of a bee from the hive or the protection of the hive when a danger is sensed by the colony. I find solace, saddness and also pride in the work.

Survival is Not Stagnation

A beehive survives because it adapts. It is not a static place; it is a community in motion, constantly recalibrating to the seasons, the weather, and the needs of the moment. Workers are born, thrive, and eventually leave the hive. Queens rise and fall. Drones come and go. The hive hums on.

Parenthood feels much the same. The early years are survival mode — sleepless nights, the constant hum of needs, and the blurry exhaustion of tending to tiny, dependent beings. Like bees in a hive protecting fragile larvae, parents shield, feed, and nurture. Life is dictated by the rhythms of those early days. Recently I have been missing those days. They were perfect (though at the time I didn't realize it AND it felt terribly hard). What I wouldn't go back to do some things differently because of what I know now. AND what I recognize is that to do it differently would alter the today and I wouldn't be writing these reflections.

But nothing stays still. Children grow. They assert. They challenge. They change. Survival becomes less about protection and more about guiding them through transformation. This is a shift in parenting that I was ill prepared for. The struggle between what I knew, letting go, inparting trust, and overcoming my own feelings of how things should be became a central internal battle.

In the next few weeks I will be unearthing the last years journey.

Signing off -- Sweet Williams

The year of Double Digits

My kid turns 10!

This January on the last day of the month my oldest boy turns 10.  A decade old, imagine that!  How fast this time has flown by for both of us.  I reflect on his early years of life, his life lessons learned and many experiences that have shaped both he and I over the past 10 years.  It is amazing! 

Dear Oldest,

As you turn 10 this year and are fighting for more and more independence I want to express to you a few observations as I have been your mom for 10 years now.  From the moment I knew we (your father and I) were going to have you, I was overjoyed with thoughts what kind of personality you would have, what you would aspire to do, who your friends would be, and what impact you would have upon the world.  Little did I know you have challenged me to be a better parent with each year you grow.

Within your first years you loved on our animals and built special relationships with them.  Jake, Cali and Bailey were so kind to you, allowing  you to love on them, sit on their backs and pull their tails. But let's be honest you also have thrown your share of fits and demonstrated shy tendencies as well.  There are times that your father and I were not sure what the deeper story was that you were trying to share with your behavior and that posed some difficult times for us to support you the way you needed.  Needless to say we have learned how to ask the rights questions to get the full meaning to be able to support you.

During preschool we found out you hated photos.  HA and now you are more amenable to them as you have understanding around the meaning of pictures, sharing a moment in time, a memory if you will.  We learned that you love having friends, hate the cold and hate being left out.  You met your life long friend to this date your second year in preschool and have been able to share many moments with him despite not attending the same school and then your baby brother was born.  

It is not easy being an older brother, having an annoying little, bug you, take your toys, want to be just like you, but you do look after him.  It has been an adjustment for me as a parent to understand your need to fight for independence away from him, allow you to be your own person and support that, but also support your brother. What a balance, and someday with your own kids you will understand where I come from.  But despite the constant seemingly nagging I have for you both to get along, when it comes right down to it you care for your brother deeply.  When he is ill or sad you give him hugs and kisses, you give of yourself to him when he is feeling left out. I try to share to you that being a brother is amazing, having a sibling is amazing and when you are older my hope is that you will be good friends and continue to look out for each other.  

As a parent it is not easy to see your kids feel left out or stressed out or be picked on.  As you entered first, second and third grade these things became evident.  You were challenged with some life lessons around friendships, "real vs fake" an early lesson to learn. And you didn't always understand why your father and I made some prayerfully made decisions regarding where you were being schooled for your current fourth grade year.  BUT despite all of that you are flourishing. Your grades are up, you are working hard at school and care about it and you have found a sport that you love soccer.  When it comes down to it I love watching you grow up, I love the changes that you are making, the confidence that you are building and support you in all endeavors you ask about.  My goal as a parent is to help you find your niche in the world and to be the best you, you can be! 

As you turn 10 my hopes and dreams for you are to continue to increase responsibility, be a genuine friend, be honest, work hard and continue to love life and be empathetic to others.  Make your bed, know when you are being taken advantage of and learn how to deal with that in a positive way. Treat others with kindness, continue to communicate and love your family with all your heart.  Happy birthday son! You make me proud!

Love you to the moon and back,

MOM

Momlife Means Busylife

I have been using the hashtags: #momlife, #boymom #busymom quite frequently these days.  But what does that really mean? 

You never really stop, stop for yourself or stop to cherish and be present in the moment.  With two kids who are active, working fulltime as a school principal and taking on more because my husband works full time and works 70 miles a way one way that is enough to keep one busy. I could go on and add many other things to make this description better or busier but you get the idea.   These are not negatives but rather all parts to the life that I have and currently am building and I wouldn't change it for the world.

#momlife

This refers to my childrearing activities!  HA that is fancy talk for my daily grind with my own kids.  It means keeping my kids and myself to a schedule so that I don't accidentally forget to get my kids ready for school, keep an appointment that was made 6 months prior, to manage my kids activity calendar but make unscheduled free time for them to just learn to be kids and use their imagination. It also means enjoying special moments or conversations and stopping to savor those moments.  Watching your kids grow and have special twinkles in their eye when excited about something or seeing the confidence building with activities and coach/player interactions, or watching the independence find its way to your child's repertoire are many of the rewards that #momlife provides! 

Don't get me wrong this hashtag is also used with snarky or sarcastic tones as well!  For example when I have to drop things at work or my own time investments in me such as getting my hair done or reading a book, to address a child broken arm or the emergency of the moment such as needing help to tie a child's shoes, or working through a frustrating moment with my son helping to problem solve but increase abilities to work through life lessons.  #momlife is just that!

#boymom

Oh wow! A few descriptors:  dirt, noise, laughter, loud,  wrestling, physically active, tough on things, trucks, cars, superheroes and more.

These are just a few of the descriptions I refer to when thinking of being a #boymom.  I have two boys each a bit different from each other but both who love the outdoors, being right, arguing their point, wrestling, watching TV, playing video games, making boy noises when playing with cars, trucks, guns and more.   They enjoy each other, they disagree with each other.  They burp, they fart, they laugh. I enjoy it all and at times get annoyed by it.  That being said I am not so sure what I would do if I had a girl.  I fear there would be too much drama, though I might have a shopping buddy from time to time.  Being a #boymom is such an experience that changes daily.  It is being a referee, it is being a communicator, being physical and active with them and helping them to shape their ideas of being a human being in our world.  It is attending soccer practices, carting kids to and from activities, and standing in the rain! It means constant cleaning in the house, and providing reminders to keep their muck boots in the garage as opposed to inside the house.  It also means teaching them through modeling of behavior how to be respectful and responsible.  I am sure I am forgetting a lot about being a #boymom but that is because I slept with the window cracked open so the boys could sleep in a two person tent for the past few days and I didn't sleep much. (Get my drift?)

#busymom

Well this hashtag just speaks for itself.  The most common statement or question (I suppose) I receive from others is, "I don't know how you manage it all!"  "How do you do it?"  Well you just do! There is no way to really explain how I do it all, except I just feel there is no other choice.  That my kids, husband and work are my life and that I add other things to be helpful  to better my community, or do something that I am passionate about and yes I forget myself at times. I need to be better about that, keeping my routines for work outs, keeping my girl dates, and investing in me.  However, I am not complaining because I love being a mom, being a mom tot boys and being busy.  Some of my best work is due to being busy, and being a great multitasker!

I wrote this from my "mom" perspective because that is who I am and my experience, I am sure this can translate to others like "dad's" or anyone so whatever your hashtag description you use keep on keeping on!

A Resurgence of the Blog.

Dear Readers,

It has been some time since I have last submitted or worked on this blog.  In part because as a full time working mom I have taken time to support my kids education, changed jobs and have really just taken on too much.  You know how it is!  I continue to coordinate auction projects for the school auction, be involved with my kids after school endeavors, listed and am closing on a home, and getting ready to have the adventure of building our dream home on our acreage.  

Life is busy.  I have been looking at ways to subsidize our bills and reduce them as much as possible. It is not easy.  I have two kids in private school an obvious personal choice and one that if I changed could save a tremendous amount of stress in looking how to fund this choice of ours. But honestly that is not a choice I am willing to make at this time.  I have been looking into side businesses, but start up fees are something I don't have at this time as every penny counts when building a home.  I have been looking into what to do from home as I am the parent that is the one who drives my kids to and from soccer practice or t-ball in support of their physical activity.  So really if it was easy to add income, wouldn't everyone be doing it?  So I reflect and continue to see what else I can do.

Recently I have put my faith in God at the forefront of my decisions.  I pray that God will help take care of us, I submit my worries to Him and know that there is a plan for our well being.  Knowing this seems to make me feel better about where we are at with our life.  So while I have taken a break from our Williams Family Adventures blog they continue every day.  I am in need of an outlet again and here we go. I hope that you stay tuned and engage with me as this blog continues to morph!

Sincerely,

Me

A lot has happened

A lot has happened since my last post, since we rang in the new year! 2015 has already proven to be one of life lessons and reflection. Every day there are life lessons to learn if we listen and sometimes those lessons are much more blatant and in your face that what you would like, but that being said lessons and simple reminders that cause me to pause and take note.  I have encountered  celebrations and loss. I have been inspired by others big and small, old and young. I have met new people, and encountered bizarre situations. I have enjoyed watching growth too!



Let me try to take a minute to explain.




My son turned 7! (I KNOW SEVEN)  It is truly hard for me to believe.  SEVEN.. Wow! It is a true statement that kids grow so quickly and that whatever you can do to enjoy every single moment of that growth is well worth it.  I have been fortunate enough to see Ty grow and develop into a smart, funny, caring and empathetic young boy.  I have seen his academic success and struggles and I have learned about him through that process.  I have seen the way he cares for his younger brother but also strive for independence.  I have seen his tenacity, and desire to build lasting friendships (he sure is social).  I love hearing his laugh and listening to his stories he shares.  He is beginning to ask great questions, and loves to be read to about random things (facts really).  He surprises me with some of the knowledge he acquires around inequity in the world and shares stories of faith too.  So we celebrate.  Unlike many other birthday posts that have preceded this, I did not plan and execute a party where there were matching napkins, prizes, décor and cake.  Rather this party was all Ty.  He wanted what he wanted (and honestly I did not mind).  There is something to say about no clean up and less stress and a place where kids are allowed a little bit of freedom. NO Ty chose to have his party at our local Pietro's Pizza parlor (which was great because for us adults there was beer on tap) and enjoy the many games that the game area offered the kids.  What a great party!  Of course we had a low key family party the next day where we enjoyed root beer floats and each others' company.  Ty is 7.  I took a moment to write a letter to Ty. I place these letters in a keepsake box for my kids for them to read handwritten notes and letters from me about their lives. I am not sure when I will share them or if I will.  It might be something they will find after I am gone (unless I change my mind). 


Celebrations have been happy and sad for us.  Recently my husband and I suffered a shocking loss of a friend and co-worker. It does not compare to the loss that his wife has endured and I certainly do not pretend to understand or even know the void that she and her kids must be feeling.  At 41 our friend passed away due to heart issues.  What is most shocking about his loss of life was that Bill was one of the most real "gentlemen" I have ever met. His work ethic was insurmountable, filled with pride and he was a genuine human being. He had a remarkable way with students, and had a funny sarcastic dry sense of humor.  He was the most humble man I  have ever met.  Truly someone who inspired others to do great things. He was a gifted person in all areas of his life.  His passing and the passing of another young man recently have really put our lives in perspective.  Byron and I are truly trying to walk the walk and talk the talk.  We are open to all experiences with our family and are not taking any of those for granted. 


I often wonder about my own death, my own celebration of life (odd I know) but the reality is that we all will pass at one time or another.  I can only hope that the decisions and choices I make today will support my family, my kids and help them reach for greatness in their own ways.  Maybe I will begin putting ideas and words on paper to my loved ones. Or maybe I will just embrace each day and say the things I mean and mean the things I say!