Reins of Confidence: How Learning to Ride Horses Helps Growth

 When my son first walked into the stables, you could see he was a nervous teenager with more self doubt than belief.  The horse, "Snorty" seemed huge, the old warn modest stable intimidating, and the idea of controlling a half-ton animal with just reins and his voice seemed impossible.  Not knowing really how my son would do, I stood there calm and in awe of this beautiful horse and watched the interaction with my son, the horse and trainer (a related family member).  

What my son doesn't realize is that learning to ride horses would do more than teach him balance, and posture.  It would be more than just learning to be a cowboy, riding, it would reshape his confidence, self worth, and how he views himself.

Stepping into  the Unknown

At 13 (almost 14) years old, everything can feel uncertain, especially this past year for our son.  Friendships changes, school pressures mounted resulting in change of schools and settings, and for our son his inner voice was being stifled by his inner critic voice.  Riding lessons were not about proving anything to anyone else - they were just supposed to be a way to try something new.  It seemed the first time he groomed the horse, carefully walked around the horse, began to build a relationship with the horse, he sensed a deeper experience was about to unfold.                                                                                                                              

The First Couple Lessons

I think our son thought he would just get up on the horse and ride, being told how to do something; that it would be easy. Turns out learning to ride takes time, patience and relationship.  It certainly isn't easy.  There were moments of awkwardness, off-balance, fear and embarrassment.  He fell.  He got back up and he learned to listen and trust his intuition, to Snorty the horse, and eventually I believe he will learn to listen and trust himself. 

Riding is  a partnership, not a performance. This is something that our son is learning.  He doesn't have to be perfect; he has to be present.  He also has to remember that horses deeply reflect they way humans feel, act etc.  If you are unsure the horse will sense that, you are angry, the horse will sense that it truly is a partnership. 

Confidence in Motion

Our son is growing more comfortable each lesson with the horse.  He is demonstrating confidence more and more; leading the horse, learning the horse, communicating with the horse while demonstrating humility and vulnerability.  After his second lesson which did not include getting on the horse this time but rather working the horse, building the communication skills, putting the bridle and reins on the horse, our son's confidence was building. 

Through these lessons, he is learning that fear doesn't mean stop.  It means pay attention.  Breathe. Keep going.