The Last High School Year: A Tighter Grasp

 A Mom's Heartfelt Journey Through Her Son's Senior Year of High School

Part II

Yesterday my HS Senior and I fit into both of our work schedules attending his Eagle Day!  This is the day you check in, make sure you are registered, pay your fees associated with yearbook, student body card, get your locker (if you want one) and of course receive your academic schedule.  In addition to that we had the pleasure of meeting the new High School Principal.

This is the first step to the academic side of things-- his senior year of high school.  For him it is a mix bag of excitement to be done with high school and anxiety as he navigates applications for the next step and balancing getting good marks while also realizing change is ahead.  It is a year of saying goodbyes.  Goodbye to his teachers, schedule as he knows it, his classmates, and an environment that he has lived at for the past several years.  On the exterior there is a toughness and a desire to do something different and "blow this popsicle joint" as they say. But I can imagine the inside is different.

From my side, it is tug-of-war. On the one hand, I am ready to let go of the stress of last minute checks for homework, missing assignments, reminding him about studying for his exams, packing lunch after lunch (can we talk about the last lunch I'll pack for him?!), and keeping him on target.  For this I think I am ready for him to take the reins and be independent.  On the other hand, I realize how much I have loved these moments of being so involved in his everyday life.  There is comfort in being the one who asks, "Did you study for that test?" or " Do you need help with....?" The thought of losing that small but significant role tugs at my heart in ways I didn't anticipate.  

So while we haven't started school quite yet, we have his final school year schedule in hand.  His final electives and few remaining core required classes and in two weeks he will enter the school to begin his senior academic year.  I am sure there will be struggles and "senioritis" and we will power through.  And we will begin our goodbyes.  

The Last Year: A Mom's Heartfelt Journey Through Her Son's Senior Year of High School

 Part 1

There is something uniquely bittersweet about the "lasts" that come with a child's senior year of high school.  I have been warned by many. I have read many posts from other mom's who have been there, and made it through.  But it isn't until you are actually in the thick of it that you begin to realize how much you'll miss certain moments and how fast they will slip through your fingers.  This year I am prepping myself that it is all about saying goodbye to the little things - the ones that don't seem like much until you're facing your final moments of them.

For me, it all began when I scheduled Senior Photo shoot.  Thought I didn't quite know it yet.  It wasn't until the actual day surfaced and I was watching the photographer Eric of Eric John Photography interact, set up poses and helped to capture my son's maturity.  I realize he was stepping into his senior year, but that also meant that every moment after this would be the last of its kind.  

Next week will be the "last" Eagle Day where he will get his "last" ASB card, and schedule to begin the school year.  Though I have the familiar excitement and anxiety about a new school year for him, I realize it will be filled with mix emotions of both pride and sadness.  

This is my first born son. The one that first made me a mom. This would be the last year of school clothes shopping, getting the school supplies set and making sure he is set with everything he needs to succeed - academically, socially and emotionally.  AND the last year I will see him walk out that door everyone morning, as my little boy who is now an almost adult.  

A Journey Forward

I hope that the relationship our son has with "Snorty" (the horse) builds and grows. Learning to care for a large animal  is more than a hobby- it's a way of life.  The "cowboy" way of life.  This includes early mornings, feeding, bathing, working the horse, teaching and learning each other, cleaning stalls and so much more.  All the while learning the value of patience, resilience, and empathy.  Horses don't judge.  They respond to how we show up.  The are a mirror.  Reflecting back what you bring to the table.  And when you are honest, they meet you there with strength and grace.  

My hope for our son is that he can look back from these experiences with "Snorty"  and realize that learning to ride was never just about horses.  It is about discovering who he is -- and who he is becoming.  

For Anyone Starting Out

If you are a teen (or a parent of one) thinking about horseback riding, know this:  it's not about being fearless.  It is about learning to trust yourself, one ride at a time.  You will learning to fall without giving up, to lead with quiet strength , and to feel proud  -- not because someone told you to be but because you earned it.  

So grab the reigns!  Your journey is waiting.  

Reins of Confidence: How Learning to Ride Horses Helps Growth

 When my son first walked into the stables, you could see he was a nervous teenager with more self doubt than belief.  The horse, "Snorty" seemed huge, the old warn modest stable intimidating, and the idea of controlling a half-ton animal with just reins and his voice seemed impossible.  Not knowing really how my son would do, I stood there calm and in awe of this beautiful horse and watched the interaction with my son, the horse and trainer (a related family member).  

What my son doesn't realize is that learning to ride horses would do more than teach him balance, and posture.  It would be more than just learning to be a cowboy, riding, it would reshape his confidence, self worth, and how he views himself.

Stepping into  the Unknown

At 13 (almost 14) years old, everything can feel uncertain, especially this past year for our son.  Friendships changes, school pressures mounted resulting in change of schools and settings, and for our son his inner voice was being stifled by his inner critic voice.  Riding lessons were not about proving anything to anyone else - they were just supposed to be a way to try something new.  It seemed the first time he groomed the horse, carefully walked around the horse, began to build a relationship with the horse, he sensed a deeper experience was about to unfold.                                                                                                                              

The First Couple Lessons

I think our son thought he would just get up on the horse and ride, being told how to do something; that it would be easy. Turns out learning to ride takes time, patience and relationship.  It certainly isn't easy.  There were moments of awkwardness, off-balance, fear and embarrassment.  He fell.  He got back up and he learned to listen and trust his intuition, to Snorty the horse, and eventually I believe he will learn to listen and trust himself. 

Riding is  a partnership, not a performance. This is something that our son is learning.  He doesn't have to be perfect; he has to be present.  He also has to remember that horses deeply reflect they way humans feel, act etc.  If you are unsure the horse will sense that, you are angry, the horse will sense that it truly is a partnership. 

Confidence in Motion

Our son is growing more comfortable each lesson with the horse.  He is demonstrating confidence more and more; leading the horse, learning the horse, communicating with the horse while demonstrating humility and vulnerability.  After his second lesson which did not include getting on the horse this time but rather working the horse, building the communication skills, putting the bridle and reins on the horse, our son's confidence was building. 

Through these lessons, he is learning that fear doesn't mean stop.  It means pay attention.  Breathe. Keep going.

Quietly, Tirelessly, Beautifully

 

The Quiet Triumph

At the end of a bee’s short life, there is no applause, no grand ceremony. Just the knowledge that they did their part to keep the hive alive, to move life forward. Parenthood is much the same. It is not always recognized. It is not always thanked. But it is transformative — for the child, for the parent, and for the future they carry forward.

We have and continue to transform with each day, each decision our children make, each interaction that we provide guidance and this will continue throughout our lives as parenting takes shape differently as our children gain independence, a voice of their own and a life of their own. I see this now as I am transitioning my own parenting style with my teens; one who is entering his senior high school year and one who will be ending his middle schol year in 8th grade this year. They each are exerting independence, making choices that shape their pathway forward in a world that seems scarier and yet more monitored than when I was a child. They have a grand future ahead and we will be smiling and happy for them.

So take heart. Like the honey bee, you are part of something bigger, something enduring. In the messy, beautiful work of raising children, you are teaching them to survive, to change, and ultimately, to thrive on their own.

And in that, there is no greater triumph.

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"The bee is more honored than other animals, not because she labors, but because she labors for others." — St. John Chrysostom

So do parents. Quietly, tirelessly, beautifully.

Preparation For Flight

 

Moments That Matter

In the life of the hive, moments accumulate: the queen’s first flight, the worker’s last foraging trip, the splitting of a swarm. None happen in isolation. Each shapes the hive’s future.

Parenthood is marked by such moments, too. The first day of school. The first heartbreak. The first time they tell you, “I’ve got this.” They are milestones not just of growing up, but of letting go.

These are not signs you are losing your child. They are signs you have done your job well.

We have been seeing these little glimmers of growth and decision making from our oldest child. As he has made healthy choices to cease stressful endeavors, join different friend groups, and define his prirorities around work vs. summer fun.

While our youngest tries to follow in his older brothers footsteps, he is still younger and needing more of his parental unit guidance.

As a parent the way we parent has begun to shift, to offer guidance, less about telling them how to do things or what to do, more about asking questions like, "What do you think?" or "How do you think that decision will be recieved?" or "Have you considered....?"

What no one tells you is that your own emotional feelings as a parent will be challenges, will need to take pause and reflect and that it will be hard but wonderful all at the same time.

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Letting Go is Love in Action

Honey bees survive because they trust the process. They trust that life is meant to move forward, not hold still. They do not cling. They do not hover. They live fully in their roles, then make way for what comes next.

For parents, this may be the hardest lesson. To love a child is to hold them close and to let them go, again and again, in bigger and bigger ways. It is to believe in their ability to fly, even when you ache to keep them safe in the hive.

As we prepare for a final high school year beginning in a month, we are taking stock in each moment with our oldest. We are helping him to prepare for life with guidance, and are slowly letting him go and watching him fly into his own. As difficult as it is we will smile through the tears knowing that we are doing our job.

Teens and Honey Bees

 

Change is Inevitable — and Necessary

When a hive becomes too crowded, something remarkable happens: a swarm. The old queen leaves, taking a cluster of bees with her to build a new home. It looks chaotic. It feels like loss. But it is nature’s way of ensuring survival, progress, and the spread of life. My husband and I recently collected our first swarm! An answer to a FB post about bees and in 8 minutes we were up the Canyon collecting a thousand bees. Our youngest came and participated in collecting them. He is 13 a teenager finding his own path in life. He was such a help and it took longer than expected. But it also reminded me there is a connection between a swarm and children growing up; changing over time.

Children, too, swarm in their own way. First it’s learning to walk — leaving your hand behind. Later it’s asserting opinions, pushing against boundaries, and demanding their own space. Eventually, it’s driving away, moving out, building a life entirely separate from the one you carefully constructed around them.

This past year we have begun to see these types of changes with our children, requireing parenting shifts and the ability to communicate differently to support their different needs. Our youngest shifted schools and reduced anxiety, leaving behind bully's and situations that were unfathomably, moving towards rebuilding self confidence and setting boundaries and working on generating great frienships. Our oldest made decisions around working, sports and his own journey post high school setting into motion a series of things to help grow his adulthood.

These departures feel messy and disruptive. They are moments of loss. But they are also moments of purpose. Like bees leaving the hive, our children are meant to move beyond the space we’ve created for them. We have struggled to allow it and how to communicate and identify our own feelings of loss while, still supporting their journey. We are by no means perfect but are working towards having seriously independent kids

My Honey Bee Era

 

It is said that the Honey Bee is vital to life! 

They are the pollenators, without whom life as we know it would cease to be.

These are the things I think about when working the hive.

I pull each frame in a specific order, looking, listening and learning about the colony. 

Inspecting for various signs.  That the queen is alive and doing her job.

That the bees have enough food and are healthy,  and  making notes along the way.

As a steward of the bees, it isn't necessiarily about obtaining the sweet honey that will eventually come it is about survival, sustainablity and commitment to life (something I learned a lot about from my brother in law Bob #survivorbee.

The Honey Bee and the Human Heart: Lessons on Survival, Change, and Letting Go

Nature rarely hands us a metaphor as perfectly as the honey bee. Tiny, tireless, and woven into the fabric of life itself, honey bees are often admired for their industriousness. But beneath the hum of the hive lies something deeper: a story about survival, change, and the bittersweet art of letting go.

If you’ve ever raised a child — from the sleepless newborn days to the defiant teenage years — you’ll recognize yourself in the life of a honey bee. Their story is, in so many ways, our own.

For my husband and I having two now teenagers (13, & 17 almost 14 & 18) this most recent years has taught us many lessons that are comparable to the life of a honey bee. Maybe that is why I find myself sitting in front of the apiary just watching the flight patterns, the struggles of a removal of a bee from the hive or the protection of the hive when a danger is sensed by the colony. I find solace, saddness and also pride in the work.

Survival is Not Stagnation

A beehive survives because it adapts. It is not a static place; it is a community in motion, constantly recalibrating to the seasons, the weather, and the needs of the moment. Workers are born, thrive, and eventually leave the hive. Queens rise and fall. Drones come and go. The hive hums on.

Parenthood feels much the same. The early years are survival mode — sleepless nights, the constant hum of needs, and the blurry exhaustion of tending to tiny, dependent beings. Like bees in a hive protecting fragile larvae, parents shield, feed, and nurture. Life is dictated by the rhythms of those early days. Recently I have been missing those days. They were perfect (though at the time I didn't realize it AND it felt terribly hard). What I wouldn't go back to do some things differently because of what I know now. AND what I recognize is that to do it differently would alter the today and I wouldn't be writing these reflections.

But nothing stays still. Children grow. They assert. They challenge. They change. Survival becomes less about protection and more about guiding them through transformation. This is a shift in parenting that I was ill prepared for. The struggle between what I knew, letting go, inparting trust, and overcoming my own feelings of how things should be became a central internal battle.

In the next few weeks I will be unearthing the last years journey.

Signing off -- Sweet Williams