Teens and Honey Bees

 

Change is Inevitable — and Necessary

When a hive becomes too crowded, something remarkable happens: a swarm. The old queen leaves, taking a cluster of bees with her to build a new home. It looks chaotic. It feels like loss. But it is nature’s way of ensuring survival, progress, and the spread of life. My husband and I recently collected our first swarm! An answer to a FB post about bees and in 8 minutes we were up the Canyon collecting a thousand bees. Our youngest came and participated in collecting them. He is 13 a teenager finding his own path in life. He was such a help and it took longer than expected. But it also reminded me there is a connection between a swarm and children growing up; changing over time.

Children, too, swarm in their own way. First it’s learning to walk — leaving your hand behind. Later it’s asserting opinions, pushing against boundaries, and demanding their own space. Eventually, it’s driving away, moving out, building a life entirely separate from the one you carefully constructed around them.

This past year we have begun to see these types of changes with our children, requireing parenting shifts and the ability to communicate differently to support their different needs. Our youngest shifted schools and reduced anxiety, leaving behind bully's and situations that were unfathomably, moving towards rebuilding self confidence and setting boundaries and working on generating great frienships. Our oldest made decisions around working, sports and his own journey post high school setting into motion a series of things to help grow his adulthood.

These departures feel messy and disruptive. They are moments of loss. But they are also moments of purpose. Like bees leaving the hive, our children are meant to move beyond the space we’ve created for them. We have struggled to allow it and how to communicate and identify our own feelings of loss while, still supporting their journey. We are by no means perfect but are working towards having seriously independent kids